Dads Coming Together to Support each other Through Fatherhood
BY
LOS ANGELES — Becoming a dad is a life-changing event, but still many new dads don’t have the support needed to help transition into fatherhood.
In response, support groups like New Dads Connect at Jewish Family Services LA have filled in this gap.
What You Need To Know
– 1 in 10 fathers experience postpartum depression according to the Journal of American Medical Association
– The “New Dads Connect” group part of the Jewish Family Service LA organization grew out of a need to check-in on new dads
– The program is an 8-week online group where the dads meet
– The group also meet up in-person and can stay in the group up to three years after their child was born
First-time father, Anthony Padilla, is one of their members and says although it can be a little intimidating initially, it’s been incredibly helpful to hear from others going through the same things.
“Having the support within New Dads Connect and raising a baby really just gave me space to talk about my concerns, questions, insecurities, unknowns. Also, hear experiences for other dads. There is a mixture of dads in there. There are first time dads like me, dads that are older, and dads that are having the second, third kid. So you have experience in the room and it made a space to just talk,” he said.
Creating that space is important, because while we typically associate pre and post-natal anxiety with moms, dads experience it too.
According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, one in every 10 dads experience postpartum depression.
“It’s one of those things where definitely fathers and men in general don’t ask for help. I’m not sure, it could be from culture, which has never been a role model in their own life, but definitely is something that’s important. It’s needed, and we want it. We’re just not sure how to ask for it and we never experience it,” said Padilla.
The barriers are common and widespread among many men, which is why Melanie Weiner, Director of the News Parents Connect group at Jewish Family Service LA, said their goal is to break those barriers down.
“They feel like their roles are to be supportive of their partners or the birthing parents. And they themselves don’t have a space to talk about what’s arising for them or what the experience was like for them, or what’s going on for them as they become new parents,” said Weiner.
She says originally the group was focused on mothers facing postpartum depression, but realized dads are rarely checked up on during and after the pregnancy.
They launched the eight-week virtual program with a professional guiding conversations to help the dads better bond with their babies, adjust to parenting, and manage stress as they support their growing family.
Weiner says it is helping support a changing dynamic in the role fathers play at home.
“We see this across cultures that fathers are wanting a space to talk about their unique roles as fathers, and that maybe that’s something that they had not considered,” said Weiner.
Anthony agrees father check-ins are very different from those of the mother. While he agrees the mother deserves the check-up, he says asking the father how they are doing goes a long way.
“Such an easy thing to do. Just a simple check in. How are you doing? Man, one checking out these guys? I’m thinking about you. That makes all the difference,” said Padilla.
He says the group has become a brotherhood that has helped him see his role as a father in a different light.
“At first I would say the role as a father was a bit of a burden because it was unexpected. It was new territory. But then quickly, by being part of that group, you realize that it’s a responsibility and something you grow and develop into. And now, looking back where I am now, the type of man to have a father, it’s a complete change. I love the direction. I love who I am today, and it makes me more excited for the future as well,” said Padilla.
